Funny Motivational Quotes

These funny motivational quotes were given to us by great motivationals speakers and some are here simply for fun. Check out these funny quotes as some you may be able to apply to your life in a positive and even fun way!

Funny Motivational Quotes

Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
-- W. C. Fields

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
-- Albert Einstein

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
-- Roseanne

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
-- Oliver Herford

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
-- Dick Cavett

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
-- George Burns

Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong.
-- Geoff Arbuthnot

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
-- Earl Nightingale

The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
-- Unknown

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.
-- Robert Heinlein

Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
-- Karl Marx

Doubt is the father of invention.
-- Galileo

Everyone knows what a hypocrite is... That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.
-- Zig Ziglar

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
-- Zig Ziglar

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale.
-- Zig Ziglar

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.
-- Confucius

Beware of a man with a gleam in his eyes - it may just be the sun shining through the hole in his head.
-- Unknown

-End of Funny Motivational Quotes

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